By Cal Wayne
Written and Directed by Adam Green
I've always thought that horror movies that limit themselves to extremely specific situations often confine themselves and become stale rather quickly; Frozen seems to prove this theory while poking at it with a stick.
The story revolves around a group of friends who through a string of unfortunate events end up stuck on a ski lift with a snow storm heading their way. As they try one incredibly stupid attempt after the next to escape, bad things start happening to them, and you begin to think "okay, who was the ass hole who forgot their cell phone? what? all of them? they deserve to die". As the story progresses, it drags on with blistering boredom; it's almost as if they said "well, the whole 'stuck on a ski-lift' thing was played out 30 minutes into the movie. Let's throw in a lot of pointless conversations. Oh yeah, and wolves, wolves are scary".
I won't lie to you and tell you that this movie has no viewing-value. There is some pretty nasty stuff in this movie; stuff that will probably make you cringe. It's just that kind of movie; is the plot ridiculous? -pshht, yeah, it sucks, but that doesn't mean they couldn't find creative ways to fuck people up. There was really just too much dead time in this movie to really enjoy it, and you can't fill in dead time with bad actors. I'll give Adam props for a few good Star Wars references, but the dialogue was just awful throughout the entire movie.
I really had trouble deciding exactly what I thought of Frozen. I mean, it really had nothing that made it stand out as a movie worth watching. I suppose if you wanted to skip around and find the scene where the girls hand gets frozen to the metal railing, that's one thing, but, you know, meh. In the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make. Sorry, I mean, in the end, the only thing I got out of Frozen is that ski-lift operators are bad, incompetent people.